The Fink Tank’s annual highly scientific yet lightly documented  list of the most valuable players in the Premier League is out.  Notice anything?

Gun-toting, head-banging, bald-headed, Seattle-born Marcus Hahnemann is the top rated keeper.  And third overall!

Better yet, the man from a trailer park in Nacogdoches, Mr. Clint Dempsey himself, ranks 21st.  He is not even a goalkeeper.

Hell yeah.  Don’t tread.